The photo of a pair of transitions eye glasses attached to a scarlet lanyard is still posted on my Facebook page dated April 14, 2016. “Hubby makes a lanyard for my glasses today. He is not being kind. He just doesn’t want to look for my glasses anymore! . . . well, yes, he is being kind.” Those were my words.
“The accompanying script in red and black reads “Forsake not the assembling of your glasses with your body.” St. Cliff 1:1 with date 4.14.16
Comments came from sympathizers and a naysayer: “Funny that I got a store bought one in my Christmas stocking.” “Doesn’t look very practical. I predict you don’t use it much.” ” I can absolutely relate!”
Reading over my Facebook heading again now I sense myself thinking at the time, “I won’t lose my glasses again.” A trace of boastfulness? Perhaps. Presumption? Probably.
Here’s how the glasses story subsequently unfolded: On Friday, April 29, I went to my power-pump class at the gym. Obviously I wore glasses to drive there and back. I’m nearsighted without them. Why, without glasses I might have a wreck.
That evening, we saw a scary Netflix movie, a British gothic flick “The Making of a Lady.” I must have worn my glasses then. I don’t remember squinting or sitting up close cross-legged to see the screen. I also don’t remember whether my lanyard was around my neck or somewhere else at the time.
The next morning I planned to drive to Curtis’ soccer game at 8:30 a.m. At 8:10 I grabbed my keys and and my glasses. My g – g – g l a s s s e e s s s; where are they? Too embarrassed to ask Cliff for help right away, I scoured the usual places: My computer desk, my dresser, the coffee-table, the kitchen counter. I couldn’t even find my back-up pair usually sitting snugly in the console by the driver’s seat.
Then, I go into full-out search mode. With and without Mr. Red Lanyard Maker, I . . .
- Look on every surface without a flashlight.
- Check every surface with a flashlight, lifting seat cushions.
- Walk outside and check the patio furniture, flower-bed containers.
- Re-visit the front porch table.
- Repeat steps 1 and 2 at night. I hoped I’d catch a gleam with my flashlight, after five hours of searching all told.
- I awoke with a jolt at 2:00 a.m, with the strong image that my glasses had fallen off my lanyard and into a garbage bag. So I cull through two plastic bags of trash to no avail.
- I prayed ardently. After alI, I do remember the story of the Woman with the Lost Coin in Luke 15, a woman who lost one of her pieces of silver, lit a candle, swept the house, found it, and called her friends together to celebrate. I was ready for celebration!
Catholics would appeal to Saint Anthony, the patron saint of lost items. One online source printed a prayer: “Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony, please come around: Something is lost and needs to be found!” A woman named Madeleine suggested that one call off the hunt as a sign of faith, claiming that “once you say the prayer stop looking for whatever it is you lost.”
Well, I did call off the hunt on Sunday, yet kept an eye out. There is always a chance for a miracle. Maybe those two shiny lenses would spontaneously appear.
Apparently, I am not alone. Hunting for lost or misplaced items is common. According to one source, the average person spends one year of life looking for keys, wallet — glasses. Among the more distressing losses are diamond rings (Oh, I lost one of those too!) and honeymoon tickets (We didn’t need tickets for air travel – just a pickup with a topper.)
Websites about lost items are usually accompanied by blatant suggestions to get more organized and be more mindful going about one’s daily tasks.
Sunday afternoon, the highly-motivated Red Lanyard Maker drove me to LensCrafter’s to fix the problem. After all, Mr. RLM can’t be my chauffeur for the foreseeable future.
At the office, I got an eye examination, another prescription, and new glasses with identical frames promised in a fortnight.
As I write now, my lanyard is securely hugging my neck with glasses attached. More mindful? Yes, I believe so.
To this day, I haven’t found my glasses. Nor have the back-up pair appeared either. How had some genie or sprite spirited away both sets of glasses? Odd and distressing! If the originals make their appearance, I’ll be thrilled to use them as my spare.
* * *
From my experience, our possessions seem to disappear in direct proportion to their degree of importance in our lives.
How about you? Tales of woe – or discovery are welcome here!
Plain and Fancy 
Good morning! (How funny that we both wrote of eye-related issues this week.) That is so weird how BOTH pairs of glasses disappeared! I’ve lost earrings–sometimes found and sometimes not. One of our cats loved these little felt balls, but they’ve vanished. We’ve looked all over for them in all the places they would normally get stuck. My husband is convinced they’ll someday reappear. 🙂
I hope this pair of glasses are always easily found!
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As always, thank you for your good morning from the Eastern Time Zone.
I hope your optimistic husband is right about the felt balls. And I hope your eye is healing. I remember the excruciating pain when a clothes hanger hit my eyeball while I was wearing a contact lens.
As I type, my lanyard/glasses sit snugly around my neck. I’m obsessive about wearing it.
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That image you painted–hanger in eyeball–made my whole body flinch. My eye is feeling fine. I hope to be wearing my contacts again tomorrow!
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Good morning Marian. Would that we might all have a red lanyard.
I lost a beloved earring over a year ago now, one I’d lost then found many times. As a result I continue to expect it to show up. But losing my glasses, never. ‘Cause I never take them off.
Thanks for a lighthearted romp this morning.
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Well, Janet, it’s lighthearted only in retrospect – ha! About your earring, I guess you must determine first of all in which house you lost it and go from there. If I were far-sighted, I’d probably never take mine off either. Thanks for the anecdote. Many readers can relate, I’m sure.
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Yesterday evening, I tore the house apart looking for one of our cordless phones. I finally found it on a bookshelf. I’d left it there the previous evening while getting together some books for the Kidney Foundation. Since I rarely misplace things, I love to go in search of missing items. At my old office, my coworkers called me “The Bloodhound.” Whenever a file went missing, they called for me. 🙂
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Obviously I need your services, Jill. Two on-site “bloodhounds” have come up empty-handed. You “love to go in search of missing items”? Well, you can add scavenger hunter to your resume, I suppose. Other readers will envy your instincts; I know I do.
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I identify with the lost wedding ring. Never found. Disappeared right off my finger, so distressing! Loved this blog!
Sent from my iPhone
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Maybe the ring slipped off when you had soapy hands. According to one theory, mine disappeared because I failed to place it away from the little hands of a 3-year-old who saw the sparkle and then went to the bathroom. I’m glad you enjoyed this. As you can see here, many can relate and commiserate.
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I don’t even want to know how much of my life I’ve spent looking for my husband’s missing things. I’ve tried to wean him of that too. So good to know you’re not perfect either!!
My favorite “lost-book-found” story was when our middle daughter Tanya misplaced a library book from her school when she was about a third grader. She was so upset because she knew that Mrs. Fisher, the school librarian, would not let her take home another book until she brought all her books back. We looked everywhere of course. The book was not to be found.
She had to tell Mrs. Fisher, and instead of tears, came home beaming. “Mrs. Fisher let me take a book anyway, because she knew I was very responsible, and said to check in the space between the dresser and wall: that books in her experience frequently get lodged between dressers and wallboard or trimwork–to the point you cannot see it from the floor, and it is wedged between the dresser and the wall.”
Bingo. Mrs. Fisher knew our house–and third graders very well.
May your glasses soon find you.
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Bless wise Mrs. Fisher, what a memorable life lesson for Tanya!
I will hold the imagine of a pair of glasses (Please God, at least one) finding me. Reverse psychology – thanks, Melodie.
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Oh such a familiar tale …. And so well told!
I (in total sympathy) laughed my way through!
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I can picture you laughing, Mimi! Given a bit of time, most mishaps are funny. Thanks for dropping in with a comment.
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Lol! My husband would definitely empathise with your plight! He now buys reading glasses by the dozen and has a pair in every room, as well as in my handbag for work, as we both teach in the same school. He still managed to lose the latter and hasn’t as yet replaced this pair!!! I feel for you, but you have to admit it’s funny! 😎😎😎
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Oh, Fatima. Mr. Red Lanyard Maker has reading glasses for himself in several rooms of our house too. We are quite a pair – him farsighted, and me near-sighted. I didn’t realize both you and your husband are teachers, and you at times his spectacles “back-up.” Thanks for all the enlightenment here.
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😁
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I’m really really smiling Marian thank you 🙂 !!! My husband & I (that sounds royal) are a right royal pair … I try not to ask for help for missing glasses or keys as I think he likes to think I’m a bit scatty, although he does know that I’m a responsible sort. He is helpful if I lose/misplace eg my credit card or wallet. Glasses, keys, he’s irritated. He fairly often misplaces his wallet and then it’s panic stations, the house being turned upside down, the car …
I bend St. Anthony’s ear from time to time and advise others to do so too …
SOMEtimes I find things when I’m not even looking … it happened the other day. I’d forgotten I’d been looking for it … and then all of a sudden I found it when I wasn’t even thinking about it.
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It sounds as though your husband responds most heartily when he thinks your finances are in jeopardy. But you help each other, certifying your claim as a right royal pair.
I have noticed when I’m “on the hunt,” so to speak, items I usually have no interest in or concern about losing, sit contentedly in their places, like plates or books, for example. ‘Tis one of the mysteries of daily life.
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Two of my closest friends are Catholic, and St. Anthony has helped me on MANY occasions. Just quietly asking for help is almost a whispered prayer, and I calm down, take a breath and focus…and often also “find.” But St. Jude, the patron saint of lost causes, is the one my Catholic teacher friends says has helped them most. 😉
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The event happened about 3 weeks ago, so I have run the gamut of emotions, including “wit’s end” and “despair.” Now I’ll pray to God for others’ lost causes, advice given by St. Leo. (Yes, Marylin, you inspired me to look up the history of St. Jude. See, what influence you have!)
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I have nightmares of loosing my glasses as I can’t see anything without them. I put them on when I wake up and don’t take them off until I go to bed. They have been a apart of my face since grade 3. A funny story. I was part of the organizing committee for a family reunion ten years ago. The morning of the reunion, in my haste I foolishly laid my glasses on the bed at my mom’s place as I was putting on my T-shirt. Dear hubby came in and sat on the bed to put on his shoes and guess what, he sat on my glasses! They were broken and there was no place open to get them fixed. I had to attend the reunion with my glasses taped together. He felt so bad but it was my fault for putting them on a bedspread the same colour. I wonder where yours went. Please let us know if they show up.
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I guarantee that you will hear when and how the glasses show up – either pair! Thanks for sharing your “spectacular” story. It sounds as though the lenses were salvageable, if not the frames.
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Oh yes, the lenses were fine, thank heaven. I now travel with an old pair of glasses just in case.
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That would be I now travel….
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Got it, Darlene!
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Oh Marian how I sympathise with you …my problem throughout my life is combs …yes combs . I am a hairdresser , as you probably know , and when I became a mobile hairdresser, that’s when the problem started . I would arrive at a client’s house ,comb -less on numerous occasions …why❓❓because I left my combs at the previous client’s house. They would be either over brimming my bag , usually the client’s personal combs they kindly lent me, or not one in sight aggggggghhhhhh!!!😖😫😩😡 . A solution trust me there ain’t one ❤️
Cherryx
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You must be very busy – a beauty salon on wheels sounds like a dynamite business plan. My husband constantly left his valuables on coffee shop tables. After he began using a driving cap to corral his cellphone, keys, and reading glasses, I haven’t heard mention of anything left behind.
How about a posy hat with a bill for your combs? Maybe the magic solution for you . . .
You are quite a storyteller, Cherry! And it’s all true, right? 🙂
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As true as I’m standing here …honest . Posy hat ❓ good Idea .
Cherryx
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🙂
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Oh, Marian, this made me chuckle as I used to misplace my glasses all the time! My life changed for the better after cataract surgery with enhanced lenses last year. No more eyeglasses! One less thing to keep track of. 🙂
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And “they” say it’s all downhill as we age. Apparently not in the eye department. Cataract surgery is in the cards for me too, but my eye doctor says I can wait awhile. Something hopeful to look forward to – thanks, Kathy! 🙂
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Now that is interesting. Did you check underneath the couch where you last watched the movie that you swore you weren’t squinting while you watched? I call those meno-moments. 🙂
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For your benefit and mine, I did check under the couch and found a quarter, a squeeze toy, and a marble – probably left over from grand boys’ play. No glasses. Massive meno-moment. Suggestion appreciated, Debby.
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Lol Marian. I was actually going to say, ‘Did you check on top of your head?’ I’ve found them there myself, 🙂
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I’ve had those moments too, usually short-lived. 😎
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Lol, like I said, ‘meno’ moments. It’s a lovely phrase. 😉
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Ha ha – your husband has a great sense of humour!
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Good observation! Yes, indeed, one of the top reasons I married him.
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Marian — Oh my gosh, I’m cracking up. I think we may have been attached at the hip at some point!
I took four (count ’em, 4) pairs of reading glasses with me on my recent vacation: (1) on my face, (2) in my purse, (3) in my laptop backpack, (4) in my carryon suitcase.
Len swears that he’s going to invent a “clapper” for eye glasses!
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“And with how many,” she asked gently, “did she return home?” 😀
We are kindred spirits in yet another way, Laurie. Maybe should chalk it up to creativity rather than absent-mindedness.
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Laughing. Vic was always looking for eyes. Me for glasses. We helped each other look–and got grumpy about it. Now I have glasses, car keys, purse, and hearing aide case. I often hearing aides out because it’s stressful to hear and relaxing to stop trying. Then I wear one hearing aide in the better ear. And where did I put the other? Not in the case? Prayer to St. Anthony or to anyone listening. So far, after ~20 years of hearing aides, I haven’t lost any. Maybe it’s because they cost $5000 a pair. I’m sure those glasses will turn up somewhere and then you can leave them in a locked safe until you need them.
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Congratulations for not losing your hearing aids. Cliff hasn’t either (knock wood!) and his cost the same amount. He used to be worse than I am at leaving things behind, usually in coffee shops.. Now he puts keys, reading glasses, and cellphone in the well of his driving hat for safe keeping.
We are going through e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g in the house with a fine-toothed comb now. Surely one of the pairs must turn up before we turn the key for the last time. Otherwise, I will have to hire a ghostbuster to catch the gremlin who’s stealing my stuff – ha!
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Oh I can really relate to this post, although I’m not the usual culprit in this house. Commando is terrible for losing things, keys, wallet, sunglasses, hats, you name it he’s usually looking for it. There was the race pack and medal lost after his half marathon recently and, only last week, a set of important keys left in an old carrier bag that ended up in a bin at a community centre. Having said that, I do occasionally lose my glasses, sometimes though, they’re on the top of my head at the time!
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As I write this, my glasses are securely hanging from my neck on the red lanyard.
Don’t you think that items disappear in direct proportion to their importance to us?Things I don’t especially care for are lying all around me. Sometimes I wish they’d disappear – ha!
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