Writing a blog post is magical–right? Words appear in the right order and photos sift down from above and settle into a nifty niche between paragraphs. Well, sort of . . . When I created the post Mennonites, Ventrlloquists, and Memoir, 3 things happened in succession:
1. In Vladimir Nabokov’s memoir I read that the author can “ventriloquize” his voice by inventing incidents, characters, and relationships.
2. The word “ventriloquize” sparked an image of Howdy Doody and the forbidden TV show I sneaked off to watch.
3. That reminded me of a story about our next door neighbors, the “red-light” Rentzels whom I wrote about 10 years ago.
Writing that post wasn’t fast or easy but it was smooth, not usually the case.
So I invite you to the website of author Kathleen Pooler, who is hosting me today in a blog post which features me “undressing” some of my posts in public. Click here for secrets divulged! (You can leave a comment below or better yet on Kathy’s blog.)
Tennis, touch football, swimming, sailing, horse-back riding . . . if it involved action, the Kennedy clan, including our 35th President, were at it! Though President Kennedy suffered from severe back pain, he was often photographed participating in sports.
Through Kennedy’s Council on Physical Fitness, Americans in the 1960s were challenged to become more active and physically fit. In these days of remembrance of President Kennedy’s assassination in November 1963, this post pays tribute to that part of his legacy, a call to shape up!
Decades later, I’m still at it, trying to avoid canes, walkers, and wheelchairs in the near future. And so, fitness classes at the gym have become a metaphor for my life in general: Pilates / PowerPump = hard / harder.
Lift it up!
Step it up!
Roll it up!
Quiet zone, low light, deep breaths, ready for Pilates . . . ah!
Are you thriving–or just barely hanging on? This is a close-up of the logo from a woman’s retreat I attended a few months ago featuring Leslie Nease, Mrs. North Carolina 2001 and contestant on Survivor China 2007.
A fitness trainer, she has written a book on physical, emotional and spiritual fitness called Body Builders. Leslie has had to overcome many obstacles in her life journey, but she shares these with touches of humor. Her new book Wholehearted: Living the Life You Were Created to Live (2013) describes how God transformed her from the inside out with an experience she refers to as a heart transplant. Her goal: to live every day with purpose and passion. To thrive, not just survive.
For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.
II Corinthians 4:16
The desire to thrive, not just survive, is described in psychological terms as well. The book Love, Medicine & Miracles by Bernie S. Siegel, M. D. contains a description of the survivor personality traits. According to psychologist Al Siebert, there are observable indicators of self-motivated growth:
1. A sense of aimless playfulness for its own sake, like that of a happy child.
2. A child’s innocent curiosity.
3. The ability to become so deeply absorbed in an activity that you lose track of time, external events, and all your worries . . . .
4. An observant, non-judgment style.
5. Willingness to look foolish, make mistakes, and laugh at yourself.
6. An active imagination, daydreams, mental play . . . .
7. Empathy for other people, including opponents.
8. Recognition of . . . intuition as a valid source of information.
9. Good timing when speaking or taking original action.
10. The ability to see early clues about future developments and take appropriate action.
11. Keeping a positive outlook in adversity.
12. The ability to adapt to unexpected experiences. (Plan B!)
13. The talent for converting what others consider misfortune into something useful.
14. Feeling yourself getting smarter and enjoying life more as you get older.
What can you add to the list above?
Are you a thriver? A survivor? Share a story please.
Quote from John Bartlett, who compiled over 11,00 quotations in the 10th edition of Quotations, 1919
Writing & Stories
4.10.99 Why stories are so effective:
The best stories begin as mental pictures which turn into personal mirrors before they become insightful windows through which we’re able to view life with greater clarity and understanding. Anonymous
12.15.95 I like everything about writing except the paperwork! Novelist Peter de Vries
9.9.00 I feel 10 times smarter writing on the computer. My student, ENC 1101
Travel
There’s no cure like travel
To help you unravel
The worries of living today.
When the poor brain is cracking
There’s nothing like packing
A suitcase and sailing away.
Cole Porter – Anything Goes.
7.15.13 The only real voyage of self-discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in seeing it with new eyes. Marcel Proust
8.14.99 Distance lends enchantment to the view . . . . Laura Ingalls Wilder, Little House in the Ozarks
10.22.96 I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. Thoreau
7.28.90 The trip to heaven will be easy because I have sent my heart on ahead. Loretta Lynn
White-Water Rafting
Ocoee Rafting – Ducktown, TN
White water rafting, especially level 3 or 4, is a grand metaphor for life:
1. Trust your Guide.
2. Stay IN the boat.
3. Have fun!
Dancing with the Stars
4.16.99 I don’t try to be better than anyone else. I try to be better than myself. Mikhael Baryshnikov, dancer
5.13.90 If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. Thoreau
5.10.99 And frame your mind to mirth and merriment / Which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life. Wm. Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew
A merry heart doeth good like medicine. Proverbs 17:22.
Time and Happiness
3.17.00 Human time does not turn in a circle. It runs ahead in a straight line. That is why man cannot be happy; happiness is the longing for repetition. Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
12.28.89 How plotless real life was [is]! Anne Tyler, Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant
5.9.90 Don’t worry about the meaning of life; pursue meaning in life every day. Robert Fulghum
12.19.99 You are only one thought away from a good feeling! Sheil Krystal quoted in Rick Carlson’s Happiness
9.10.13 Sybil, in my book says, “Sometimes, the greatest gift you can give someone is the freedom to pursue their own happiness.” Red Clay and Roses SK Nicholls
Before I dashed off to my college classes each morning, I had a 10-minute oasis of breakfast time around 6:30. With a modest-size repast of tea and lemon, bagel with peanut butter or cream cheese + a piece of fruit, I told God, “Thank you for this food and the leisure to enjoy it in.” Why would I even think to call it leisure? I had just 10 minutes before I bolted out the door, joined the traffic on Beach Boulevard, and rolled my car onto campus at 7:00 a.m. Busy day ahead!
Now in my writing phase of life, at 7:00 I may tune in to 20-minute yoga session, pre- or post-breakfast. It just depends.
But now my breakfasts are more abundant and leisurely. Well, . . . most of the time.
Yes, a nod to PA Dutch taste buds – pickled eggs
Breakfast time includes a spiritual dimension:
First, CLEANSING . . .
Then, moments of SILENCE
Silence, however brief (then) or longer (now). . . requires meaningful retreat from the hurly-burly busy-ness of life.
In his memoir, The Chosen, Chaim Potok’s main character, Reuven, speaks of the enlightenment his friend’s father, Reb Saunders, a Hasidic rabbi, imparts about the restorative value of long stretches of quiet: “. . . “I’ve begun to realize that you can listen to silence and learn from it.” And later Reuven’s brilliant friend Danny admits: “My father taught me with silence, . . . “ so I would not grow up with a mind having no soul.
Now take a deep breath . . . read s l o w l y :
When you are faithful in [silent meditation] . . .
you will slowly experience yourself in a deep way.
Because in this useless hour in which
you do nothing “important” or urgent
you have to come to terms with your basic powerlessness,
you have to feel your fundamental inability
to solve your or other people’s problems
or to change the world.
When you do not avoid that experience but live through it,
you will find out that your many projects, plans,
and obligations becomes less urgent, crucial, and important
and lose their power over you.
Abbot John Eudes Bamberger to Henry Nouwen (Quoted in Fil Anderson’s Running on Empty, a book about living restoratively in “a world stuck on fast forward.” 73)
Next, MEDITATION . . .
Take another deep breath, read, and reflect
Patrick reading in Book of Luke
Grandson Patrick, my less pious stand-in for “Meditation.” He is reading from his Grandpa’s Bible the story of one of the shipwrecks of Apostle Paul he learned about in Vacation Bible School.
Happy to say, I haven’t heard the phone ring yet, so there’s even time for another cup!
Seen in Santa Cruz Diner, CA
OOPS!
You were waiting for an OOPS! and here it comes. Life doesn’t always go as planned. Interruptions happen. And frequently. There is often a need to revert to Plan B. (See again Southern Friends Meet PA Dutch Dish)
Fil (really, not a misspelling) Anderson, again, in Running on Empty quotes Author Robert Benson, Living Prayer (page 81) who has devised a theory of life he dubs the “Rule of 21.”
Twenty-one minutes is the amount of time that one can go without being interrupted by a telephone call, a knock at the door, or an attack from cyberspace . . . .
Twenty-one days seems to be the maximum number of days that one’s life can go smoothly. The average is four, but the limit is twenty-one I think. It’s hard to live for more than twenty-one days without a car breaking down, a trip being cancelled, a family member getting sick, a pet dying, a tire going flat, a deadline being missed, or some other thing that scatters all of one’s otherwise neatly arranged ducks.
While I’m writing this post, there have been several hiccups in the rhythm of my own life. Specters in the form of medical, institutional, and financial needs have reared their unwelcome heads either in my own or our extended family. And it’s been, I gasp, about 21 hours — give or take a few!
The certified arborist surveys the 16 tall oaks on our property in Florida and pauses at one: “I don’t like the looks of that tree,” he warns. “Its bark looks splotchy and the ground around it feels spongy.” He taps near the root with his steel-toed boot. “Do ya hear that. It sounds hollow.” Every homeowner wants to hear a hollow tree sound. Right?
Most of Jacksonville is flat, but our property is situated on a hill with magnificent live oaks, most of which can live for centuries. But laurel oaks have far different life spans of 60 – 80 years. The twin to this laurel oak tree laid itself down to rest about 1½ years ago the day after Christmas beside our house grazing only a small corner of the roof. Minimal damage then. We were so fortunate.
Squint to see guy atop tree
“I’d take this one down right away unless you want it to carve a canyon in your house.” He points to the second-floor master bedroom in harm’s way. Now willing to exchange the thousands of dollars for tree removal for the tens of thousands of house repairs or a tragic death, we schedule tree surgery. That’s when we meet the tree guys. In the pecking order of blue collars, tree people probably rank below plumbers and electricians. The older ones methinks even look like trees, gnarled and burly. The younger ones are wiry, muscular, all highly coordinated.
The most talented one to mount our tree has teeth that look like they’ve been pushed into his gums by a cartoon dentist, but talented he is: balancing his body expertly at 80 feet, adjusting cords with perfect tension between himself and the ground crew, judging the exact angle to make the incision. They get the job done with no casualties. Finishing up, they haul off the boulder logs, rake the droppings, reconstitute my bird bath with finesse. Praise be to the tree guys!
Praise be to the Creator of trees:
We fly from Florida to California for a change of scenery, exchanging live oaks and pines of Jacksonville for the cedars and eucalyptus of the Monterey peninsula, Florida heat and humidity for day-time temperatures in the mid 60s.
Marvelously fashioned by the Creator God as well, cedar trees on the Pacific coast exude the fragrance of the hope chest from my girlhood, and the pungent eucalyptus, a balm for respiratory problems.
Eucalyptus Tree, Pacific Grove, CA
And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not whither, and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. Psalm 1:3
Uh oh, what happened next . . . ?
We spot some explorers on the rocks of the bay. “That looks like fun,” I think. My shoes are sturdy and the rocks jutting out into the bay seem dry. But things go south fast. The next thing I know, I’ve gone topsy-turvy in a twisted side-ways posture onto a huge rock. The first thing I think of is the Medic Alert commercial, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!” No, that’s a lie. It’s the second thing. The first thing I think of is “Have I broken any nails?” Well, I have, but now I see a skinned knee with hands oozing blood. Slowly, I hoist myself up and gingerly pick my steps back to the car for band-aids.
The tree guys, precariously suspended between heaven and earth, were trained and experienced, knew the dangers, and had back up in case of a mis-step. But not me. I saw the warning sign, ignored it, imagining I could beat the odds. My gamble did not pay off this time, so I suffered the consequences.
Praise be to the tree guys! And to the Creator of gorgeous scenery. And to lessons learned the hard way.
Debut of purple passages! A collection of lines from books I have read since 1989 when I began jotting them down in my journals, my 9 books of wishes, dreams, laments, and bursts of praise.
The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines a purple passage as one conspicuous for its brilliance in otherwise dull writing. For this blog, I’m concentrating on only the “brilliant” part of the definition.
Although they are random in topic, I chose these quotes for at least 3 reasons: 1) they have plucked my heart-strings, 2) ignited a spark in my brain, or 3) resonated in my ear. Sometimes these ideas have even traveled to my fingers, where they become reborn as I write.
A Preview:
6.16.90 I don’t call it gossip. I call it emotional speculation. Laurie Colwin Happy All the Time
7.25.90 Auntie Ying is not hard of hearing. She is hard of listening. Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club
5.28.92 Mr. Brook was a somewhat pastel person. (I wonder how that differs from a vanilla one?)Carson McCullers Collected Stories
6.28.93 I was sneezing through a traffic light. Son Joel on why he got a violation ticket.
12.21.95 The outline of what even well-educated people should know has been blurred past recognition by the many things we can know. Flannery O’Connor Images of Grace, Introduction
Ah, there is also a 4th reason. I forget stuff unless I write it down. Even books I read. I had this sensation recently when I started to read (actually, re-read) neuropsychiatric Oliver Sacks’ The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat. Now who could forget reading that book and with THAT title!
In “The Curse of Reading and Forgetting,” Ian Crouch recalls having read and then unknowingly re-read parts of several books, amazed at his book-forgetting abilities. He recalls ordering a book from Amazon only to realize after encountering an episode about a cat trying to eat a snake that he’s already read THIS book. Then, he asks:
Should we reread when there is a nearly endless shelf of books out there to read and a certainly not-endless amount of time in which to do it? Should I pull out my copy of Eudora Welty’s “The Optimist’s Daughter” to relearn its charms—or more truthfully, learn them for the first time—or should I accept the loss, and move on?
I say, accept the loss and move on. “At my back I always hear Time’s winged chariot hurrying near.”
Quotes are selected not always because I agree with them, but because they have given me cause for pause. You will be notified when new quotes are posted. Click to link to the Purple Passages menu on my blog.
1. Have you experienced the author’s sensation of having read a book before as you began to re-read it? How about movies?
2. What other “purple” quotes come to mind as you read this post?
Older adults trapped in a vehicle with 3-4 of their grand-children for hours on end. Who would do that? Only Grandparents hiding secrets. Grandparents on a mystery trip with kindergarten and elementary schoolers in tow. Here’s one way to do it adapted from a suggestion by my good friend Carolyn P.
1. Insert Mystery Trip Card on your windshield.
2. Insert children, belted in and believing anywhere is possible!
Mystery Trip # 1Museum of Science and History (MOSH, downtown Jacksonville) Billed as a place where Wonders Never Cease.
Three of our four grandchildren are boys, and they have all followed Bob-the-Builder / Thomas-the-Train line of interest. Now it’s dinosaurs! This trip will feed their fetish.
Always end with FOOD! With no fast food place in sight, we make a hot dog—cookie—juice box picnic out of it this time.
Mystery Trip # 2 Polar Express: Any theatre, even a DVD at home will do. But the iMAX 80 foot-wide-screen bumps it up a notch. Besides, you get into a van and GO somewhere special. The woofer and tweeter sounds make the story come alive!
Mystery Trip # 3 Let’s Go Science! With Professor Smart and Dr. Knowitall
Patrick and Curtis went berserk-y trying to touch the huge floating balloon, a before-the-show stunt. We ended with WhataBurger! As you can see, eating is serious business!
Mystery Trip # 4Blueberry Pickin’ Good country fun @ $3.00 a pound!
Jenna says, “This is good, family fun!” And that was before the gang in the back-seat made up a silly song of 4-5 stanzas about picking blueberries to the tune of “Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush.”
The last stanza included barfing although that never really happened!
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For years I have kept a ratty ole pin cushion from Grandma Longenecker in my sewing cabinet. It looks pitiful, but I’ll never throw it away because it came from my Grandma. Pierced through its dusty middle with some of her pins and holding one of my mother’s hairpins, I’d say it’s more of a keepsake than an heirloom.
Remember Art Linkletter’s show “Kids Say the Darndest Things”? Of course they do! I have kept quotes from each of our four grandchildren since their early years, as keepsakes. It’s easy to do the same for your children–both grand and great–nieces and nephews too:
1. Be alert to their part of any conversation. You never know when a wacky, wise, or witty saying will burst forth from their lips.
2. Write it down ASAP. Memory is tricky. If you don’t get it just right, what they have actually said may lose its zing in your faulty translation.
3. Use a notebook or reserve a folder on your computer desktop for the quotations. For example: SayingsPatrickCurtisJennaIan.doc
4. Always include a date. If you’re like me, you’ll never connect their age with the saying. What seems precocious at age 4 would sound ordinary at age 7 or 8.
Here are some examples from my files. (You can guess which one I would pull out at a rehearsal dinner celebration!)
Patrick & Jenna snacking after planting grass plugs
2.15.07 Patrick to Mommy Crista: “Mom, we can’t move to Florida.”“Why?”“Because we can’t get Daddy’s bean bag on the plane.” (age 4)
10.24.09 Patrick: “My favorite thing in school is writing in my purple journal. Every story I write has the word ‘the’ in it!” (age 6)
12.23.09 After Jenna breaks her snow globe Christmas ornament Cliff gave her from Washington State, Patrick says, “Grandpa, the next time you go on a trip, don’t give the little girl a glass present.” (age 6)
Jenna’s turn:
*6.25.09 You and Patrick were with NaNa as Mommy was having some time to run errands. You were busy upstairs helping me pack for PA: on jewelry– “That’s too fancy . . . or too casual.” On outfits – “This matches . . . this doesn’t.” (age 4) Fashion design in her future? Who knows.
* 8.5.12 Mommy Crista: “So we are at the beach and Jenna and I are sifting through sand looking for neat sea shells. She says to me, ‘Mommy, you know, you are doing pretty good for your age. Flattered (and in my bikini), I said, ‘Well, thank you. Do you think I should cover up a little bit more?’ Jenna says, ‘No, Mom, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that you have good eyes for looking for nice shells.’” (age 7)
Curtis and Snow Globe Gift
1.1.08: NaNa observes that Curtis is wearing his “Dash” suit to bed, and so she says, “Why are you wearing your Incredibles suit to bed?” Curtis: “Well, I need to be strong in bed!” (age 5)
11.7.10 When I came to dinner on Sunday evening, you had balled-up paper in a small laundry basket and mentioned you wanted to have a “dry” snowball fight. (age 7)
5.10.13 I describe how Great Grandma’s Chicago snow globe was taken on the sly and how sad she is as a result: After a bit, Curtis goes to his room, and gets his own larger version of the snow globe, a keepsake from his early days in Chicago, to give to her as a surprise. (age 9)
Ian and Teddy
With Grandpa at the mall, as Ian finished drinking his chocolate milk from a straw, he exclaimed, “Look, I’m a sucker!” (age 4)
After being given an assignment at pre-school, (All Saints’s Episcopal), Ian completes this prompt: If I were President, “I Would protect the children!” (age 5)
3.18.13 When Great Aunt Janice gives us kumquats, you say, “I’m glad I’m not a kumquat!” Now what brought that on, I wonder? (age 5 1/2)
Another Keepsake: Kid-size Gratitude Journal
Tables Turned: Kids do their own drawing, writing: “I’m thankful for . . . . ”
Add your clever keepsake idea to the mix. Tell us an activity or tradition that helps keep memory alive for the sake of the next generation in your family.
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Plain and Fancy 